February 2012
150 posts
The backsplash is defs the best part of puking
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I wish I could go to uni or college just to study the Holocaust. Not for a diploma or anything just for fun
I don’t mean that disrespectfully either I mean that I find it so interesting that I would happily spend all school hours learning about it
k
I think I want to delete I feel kind of left out and unimportant here and I don’t want to feel that here and real life and I can’t delete my real life so
maybe I should leave
I’ll probably just start distancing myself and spending less time on here than I do rather than delete so I can focus on different things (my ED, but if I say that I’ll get frowned upon so)
...
I remember the very first time I tried to purge I just put my fingers in my mouth and moved them back and forth just in my mouth and I got really upset when nothing happened
And now look at me I’m basically pro!
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Anonymous asked: i think you're beautiful, if that matters.
My collarbones stick out and my upper arms are thin which is good but fucking annoying because it’s DECEIVING my lower arms are bulging and then my boobs are too big that you’d never be able to see my chest bones and I have a fucking muffin top belly that bulges over everything and my torso is small so my stomach fat has nowhere to go but in or out and then my thighs GODDAMN talk about...
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Anonymous asked: Erin, you are flawless & amazing & ily, k, bye!
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Anonymous asked: hi there beautiful. i just wanted to remind you that you are an AMAZING, beautiful, and lovely person. don't evereverever doubt that. you are just truly amazing, i really can't think of any other word that is worthy of describing you. i hope you have a nice night, or day or whatever time it is where you are. :)
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Anonymous asked: It still saddens me to see you so critical of your body but I'm also happy to see you can find something good about it (that being, your abs). You're really, really beautiful and you deserve the absolute best in life (:
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If I were to go to the doctor right now and be diagnosed there’s a 95% chance it would be either EDNOS or bulimia and not anorexia
I feel
kinda sad about that idk
The Beatles just make me so hAPPY
My cat just sat beside me while I purged.
I feel like a monster.
I really really do have the body of an obese person like I do look overweight and that children is why the bmi is all bollocks the end
If there were no repercussions to my actions my step-dad would be dead by now
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Anonymous asked: dude your face is so swollen looking because of purging. i used to be bulimic and my face would blow the fuck up and it was so awful. that was the worst. since i've been in recovery it's gone down remarkably.
Dave Grohl is the best kind of person
Lana Del Rey’s singing voice doesn’t match her talking voice or just her in general. It’s a lovely voice don’t get me wrong, but it sounds like the voice of a 40 year old smoker
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It just
wouldn’t even matter
if
I died
right now
ya know?
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Someone write a song about how fat I am so I can sing it to you all
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Anonymous asked: I started following your blog before we knew that you had anorexia and I wanted to say that I was really shocked when you started posting about it and it makes me so sad seeing what it does to you and how its consumed your brain like that. I hope one day you get better <3
My only safe food is water. Don’t let it fool you though I still eat everything I just feel like killing myself after it. Water is the only thing I can consume and feel absolutely no guilt
Wait no that’s not true I feel guilt when I drink so much that it leaves me bloated and then I hate myself for looking so fat
Whomp
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Anonymous asked: literally no one cares about how you look except you. everyone's too worried about themselves to notice anyone else
I feel like when I look healthy and on days when I eat right that I’m being majorly judged and that terrifies me like every single person who looks at me at all is thinking about how fat I am. Even my family like if I go to the pantry or the fridge even once they’re thinking “Oh, look at the fatty going to get food how selfish of her she doesn’t even need it”
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I’ve decided to make the right decision and start unfollowing some thinspo blogs. I don’t need them
I don’t need them
I hate myself so fucking much that it’s overwhelming
I abuse my body to the fucking core I don’t deserve to have it at all, or at least one that’s still in this good condition jesus
I wonder what 10 year old me would think if she knew this is where she’d be 8 and a half years later
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Sometimes I feel like a fucktard that I can’t even eat properly like a basic every day human function that everyone does and I can’t even do that properly. I feel not so bad knowing that I’m not the only one but still yano it’s just a weird concept
Eating
F o o d
God I don’t even remember what it’s like to just eat and not have my mind racing isn’t that...
When I move into my own place my cupboards are either going to be bare or full of different cereals
I just puked up an entire thing for the first time!!! I didn’t leave any in there. Where’s my medal someone give me a pat on the back
I have a body like Kelly from Misfits. That’s what my bod looks like
god
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Anonymous asked: well yes I have studied anorexia, so I might be considerably more informed on it than someone suffering from a psychological disease. Best of luck in your future though, I hope you get better and treat your body with the respect it deserves.
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Anonymous asked: people who are actually anorexic don't call themselves anorexic, they don't think they have a problem. I
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Anonymous asked: don't you want to get better?
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Anonymous asked: Why do you feel the need to be so skinny, and to subject your body to that kind of treatment it's unhealthy? I just don't understand why you would want to do this to yourself, it can't be any harder to only eat healthy foods and to exercise. Isn't it more attractive to be healthy and thin than to be so thin you can see your bones. Why? Why, do you do it?
I don’t want to grow old. 42 is my scary age, I want to be dead by 42 at the latest
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ner-vosa:
My body is the evidence of my sin, my shame. My weakness against temptation shall forever be evident; the fat that encircles my entire body, from my fingers to the prominent shape of the wretched horror I call a stomach that not even my intentionally baggy clothing can disguise. Evidence of a sinner - corrupted by gluttony and laziness. Modern-day monster, in every sense of the word.
Eat
Vomit
Work out
Rest
Repeat until dead
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Anonymous asked: "it's a secret"...HAHAHA. PERFECT. <3
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Anonymous asked: help!!! i can't purge. i've tried with my fingers and a toothbrush and it won't work. how do i do it? thanks
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Remember on Myspace when people would ‘own’ your photos
“Can I own?” “Erin owns <33”
Anyway I’m remembering this because some girl just did it on Facebook